Double-Consciousness

"It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one's self through the eyes of others. . . . One ever feels his twoness,an American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warrings ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder."

-- W.E.B. Du Bois(1868-1963), The Souls of Black Folk

Hope Network: Election Edition!

This campaign has gone on quite a while, huh?! Sure there is negative campaigning going on, yet I find great hope in the numbers of people turning out to vote! Ok, I admit we as a nation have a rather sad record in terms of voting rates--Australia and Malta are at like 95%-(I'm all for tax breaks for voters, like $50: who's with me?) But early voting has caused quite a stir across the country. According to the AP, early voting has tripled since 2004. And voters in one Georgia county stood in line until 10:30 p.m. last week to cast ballots.

In Florida, there were such long waits for early voting- over five hours in some places- that Gov. Charlie Crist had to step in and sign an executive order extending early voting hours to accommodate the masses. And the Florida A&M marching band entertained one group of early voters at a polling station (right).

So let's get out there on Tuesday if you haven't already done so! This Land is Your Land, This Land is My Land...

Mary Oliver, Part II, The Journey

Here's another poem by my favorite poet Mary Oliver. I don't know about you, but I can live so much of my life in my head, with so many conflicting voices. None of the voices are not mine, and yet none of the voices is pure. That's what I like about Oliver. She's right there in the midst of the struggle. She's not writing after she's got it all figured out, kicking back on her sofa saying, "Whew! I'm glad life isn't so difficult anymore now that I've beat the system, solved the puzzle, found my one clear voice (the voice of God?)." She's not the saint who used to be the sinner, the one who, now that she's beyond doubt or struggle, can finally make art. She's right there right now making beautiful art, right in the muck and messiness. Saintliness and Beauty are not things that come after the struggle, after all the questions have been answered and doubts assuaged. Now is Beauty. The Beauty of God is at hand. That is good news.

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Senseless acts of singing

The Decatur Five

I had the pleasure of singing for no good reason at all today! Five of us from the Community of Hospitality brought songbooks and gumption to downtown Decatur, GA and sang on a street corner for about 30-40 minutes. We had one complete stranger jump in to join us, several encouraging comments, and lots of interest by kids smiling, pointing, and walking by with their parents. The point was simply to sing and to share music with those walking by. I personally see such actions as movements towards creating the type of world I want to live in. But even if nothing happened today other than 5 people singing, isn't that reason to rejoice?!

Our Worship circle sings every Sunday night, we have for the past 25+ years. Someone mentioned the other week that the only time each week that they sung was on Sunday nights at our service. This got folks thinking that we should just get together and sing in public.

I was relating my singing afternoon to friends tonight and it reminded them of a trip they took to China recently. They said that every morning and afternoon, they would see dozens, even hundreds, of people in parks throughout Beijing who also gathered to sing as well as ballroom dance, do Tai Chi, and ribbon dancing gatherings (see below). That makes me smile! I am happy anytime people are gathering in public as citizens, are engaging with their friends and the larger community. We've gotten so disconnected from each other in this American society. I'm heartened to hear such that such gatherings are common in China.

So this was round one--let me know if you want to join us next time. Or do it yourself! Or dance in public. It's your and my community out there, let's engage it. Do something beautiful today that makes no sense--it's quite liberating!!!

Movies of Hope: Harold and Maude

Harold and Maude is one of my all-time favorite movies. For many reasons. The fantastic music was all written for the film by Cat Stevens. The theme song is If You Want To Sing Out (listen on YouTube), and the song exemplifies the theme of the movie: Live, Live your particular and wild life, even and especially when there are so many who want you to live someone else's life!

I won't give anything away because I know you're going to see the movie soon! Hal Ashby, of Being There fame, directed the film. The images in the movie are fantastic and the soundtrack, though most definitely dated, is perfect. Maude is an over-the-top free spirit who knows pain deeper than most, and yet is alive. She's about to turn 80 and has never been more alive. She steals trees that are choking on the pollution of the city and transplants them back in the forest. She "borrows" priests' cars and cops' motorcycles. Ironically, she likes funerals, which she attends with her yellow umbrella. Harold has no friends, but likes funerals as well. They bump into each other at funerals of people neither of them know. In one of several all-is-not-what-it-seems elements, Harold and Maude, who appear to be most morbid, are in fact the only people in the film who have any sense of life at all.

Harold is primed to come to life, and he meets his guide in Maude. Their friendship mentor-mentee relationship invigorates Harold and sustains Maude. They live wonderfully odd lives. I think more that the truly odd might have something vital to teach me about really living. Because they are not constrained by fear, by embarrassment and shame, but what is "normal" or "respectable." These categories are all fictions at best, prisons at worst. Corporations and other snake-oil salesmen can't sell you plastic surgeries or the "right car" or a soul-less job or celebrity gossip if you are alive, are yourself, and don't give a shit about what other people want you to be. Sorry to swear, but the truth's the truth.

Here's the point: It is the freaks who are free, the freaks who can live beyond fear. It is the freaks who are in touch with what Mary Oliver calls their "wild and precious life." Watch Harold and Maude, or watch it again. See if you are re-invigorated to live wildly, to love, to be yourself--which is no small feat!

22.6?

I meant to make this post 4 weeks ago. That was the day I ran 14 miles for the first time in my life. When debriefing with my wife I told her that "if running 14 miles is that hard then I have a newfound respect for anyone who has run a marathon." Which made me think of Brad (venerable moderator of the hope network, who has run a marathon) among others. And it made me think of the hope network. I was hopeful that if I stuck with my training program I would be able to run much further. Even if it was that hard. And let me tell you, those last 2 or 3 miles were really hard and painful.

I'm not training for a marathon. I'm training for a 22.6 mile race over the Colorado National Monument. Though it's 3.6 miles short of a marathon it has over 1500 ft. of elevation gain (a lot of uphill). I consider it a worthy challenge, though.

I'm not sure if it would have been more appropriate to make this post that day or today. Despite being intimidated and discouraged, I did feel hopeful. So the next week I ran 16 miles. They were just as painful, and in fact I spent the rest of my day nauseous. Then the next week I ran 18 miles. I actually felt a little better during much of the run but the last few miles were hanging on for dear life, and I had a hard time walking down the block for cool-down. Then this week I tried hard to procrastinate it, but finally convinced myself to run 20 miles (the peak of my training program). This time the pain kicked-in way earlier in the run for some reason. But I knew I had done 18 and, even if I had to go slower, would be able to do it.

Come race day I will be tapered and much more fresh. And I've run 20 miles so I'll know I can complete those extra 2.6 (downhill) miles. My hope now is a lot less audacious than it was 4 weeks ago. But to be sure, it was hope that kept me going on each of these runs.

I'm glad that 14 was so hard because it prepared me for what was to come.

Dancing with the Stars

Not bad, Cliffy.

Ok, what does this have to do with hope? Good Question.

I'm generally not a fan of reality TV. In most part because it seems to highlight the worst in humanity (who can betray whom, who can stab whom in the back, who can best step on as many people as possible in the name of WINNING AT ALL COSTS!). . Isn't too much of corporate America like that already? Isn't television supposed to be a break from all of that?

That's where Dancing comes in. The show is so positive. There's no Simon WhatshisBritishname nastily taking his personal insecurities out on barely pubescent singers. There's no crazy cook- guy raging around the kitchen making everyone miserable. I just can't hack that stuff. Dancing though is different. It's about people pushing themselves, confronting fears, letting loose and having fun, and dancing! Sure, there are B-listers trying to find that spotlight again. But the celebrities on the show are such great symbols for you and me and everyday average people. They're all famous for things other than dancing, and the show pushed them. There's a HUGE chance of making a complete fool of themselves on the highest rated TV show in the country. Maybe this is my childhood dread of dancing coming up (oh, I had some awkward moments at Bar Mitzvah parties), but there is some serious courage involved on that show!

So Dancing with the Stars is a sign for me that people can celebrate dancing (a wonderful thing in and of itself), can be positive, encourage others, take some major risks of making a fool of themselves, and just have fun. And that this is the top rated show on TV is a wonderful sign. Maybe it's a sign that we as a country are getting sick the lowest-common-denominator TV. I think so!